I did well last year with only one injection which I had at the beginning of December 2008 and even that one I could have put off as my voice was not that bad. The major factors contributing to my better voice have been a more acute awareness of feelings within the physical and mental realms of my body.
I think the release of anger has a significant part to play in maintaining a good voice. The reason I say this is that anger arose a few times in the last month and it was like an unwelcome old friend ... it reminded me of how this old friend reared its head often prior to the last 12 months. This could be the key to a better voice, do not hold onto anger, let it go! I'll work on resolving this unwanted feeling should it arise again.
It was fortuitous that I came across, in a second hand bookshop, 'The Journey' by Brandon Bays just a couple of weeks ago, all the other books were neatly stacked but this one was on its side ready to be taken. An excellent read. This book was like a pointer indicating that indeed holding onto unwanted feelings can cause dis-ease.
Having my good voice again is SOooo wonderful. The first thing that friends say is how good it is sounding, that's reassuring but the best thing is the ease and freedom in conversing whenever I want to. I am so grateful to my neurologist for his exceptional skill in performing the Botox procedure, I am in and out of the clinic within minutes however I may never need to see him again.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My Voice Months Later
I really am learning to manage my voice since I have noticed that I dont think twice about engaging in conversation anymore. Sure, sometimes my voice doesn't sound as good as at other times but I know that it can be better if I relax and am in the right frame of mind. Managing stress I think has a lot to do with it as well as getting a good nights sleep.
My challenge this week is to be fully focused as our dearly loved pet Schnauzer of thirteen years was put to rest yesterday having suddenly become sick. It was cancer of the stomach and the poor little fellow just didn't have a chance. So the family all gathered at his side at the hospital to be with him in his last moments. He will be missed.
My challenge this week is to be fully focused as our dearly loved pet Schnauzer of thirteen years was put to rest yesterday having suddenly become sick. It was cancer of the stomach and the poor little fellow just didn't have a chance. So the family all gathered at his side at the hospital to be with him in his last moments. He will be missed.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
IT HAS BEEN A WHILE
It is six months since my Botox injection and I am beginning to suspect that it is indeed the mind that plays a big part in how my voice sounds. At four months it was only when I started thinking about the length of time since the last injection that gradually then I noticed difficulty in speaking in noisy environments such as in a restaurant or car. Had I prompted the thought that the Botox would be wearing off? I have become watchful of the thoughts that enter my mind!
There are a few occasions when my voice feels strained but more often than not I enjoy being able to say what I want when I want! I am very pleased with my voice! There is greater power in being positive than remaining at the mercy of the medical profession who still do not know the cause of SD. I refuse to accept that I have no control over my voice. I know that getting a good night sleep is important as well as avoiding stressful situations - be kind to yourself!
I began blogging during my Christmas holiday and when I see how little I’ve blogged over the months I can see how consuming work has become but I must admit that a good deal of time has also been devoted to my spiritual growth by listening to the Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey - A New Earth worlds biggest classroom series at www.oprah.com .
There are a few occasions when my voice feels strained but more often than not I enjoy being able to say what I want when I want! I am very pleased with my voice! There is greater power in being positive than remaining at the mercy of the medical profession who still do not know the cause of SD. I refuse to accept that I have no control over my voice. I know that getting a good night sleep is important as well as avoiding stressful situations - be kind to yourself!
I began blogging during my Christmas holiday and when I see how little I’ve blogged over the months I can see how consuming work has become but I must admit that a good deal of time has also been devoted to my spiritual growth by listening to the Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey - A New Earth worlds biggest classroom series at www.oprah.com .
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Avoiding Thoughts
Where to start? It is difficult to blog without giving it thought, but some thoughts have arisen that need to be purged. The other night I took my laptop out of my study where it always sits on the desk, so that my partner and I could watch the Eckhardt Tolle chapter 2 of A New Earth in the comfort of our lounge room. Because of the time difference I miss out on sitting in the worlds biggest classroom for the live broadcast of this event but having the recorded version is almost as good.
Half way through the session my laptop shut down because it wasn't plugged into a power source, it was quite late anyway so I was happy to go to bed. Taking the laptop off my lap and lifting it up I noticed how heavy it was, therefore rather than think it, I said,"this laptop is so heavy". Having been in a relaxed state I was very aware of its weight and the impact of lifting it especially since it is something that I rarely do.
Here is the issue that I need to put to rest - my partner immediately exclaimed, "there you go moaning again!". I told him the truth, that I was simpy stating what I felt, but he just didn't accept it, he said I am always complaining about something. While I was brushing my teeth this previous intereaction was consuming my mind so I came back to the loungeroom to sort it out. I asked why he thought I was moaning when I told him that it was not my intention to do so. His answer was that it was the tone of my voice that said it all.
Here lies the problem, does that mean that whenever I speak, he misinteprets my message and he possibly thinks I am moaning, unhappy, or criticising? Is that why he is unhappy a lot of the time .... because he thinks I am being negative? This is typical of the sort of thing you read about in Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.
It is not my intention to make anyone unhappy! I ask myself - "when you realise that there is a misunderstanding and you attempt to clarify it, what is stopping the other person from accepting the truth?" I would like to just BE and not think about all this but my dilema is that I may be causing suffering? Aha, I am creating my own suffering by thinking about this and since it is in the past it does not matter and if he thinks I am negative, that is his problem. Sounds good to me; enough thinking!
By the way my little goldfish have passed away, Tom died last week and Timmy died this morning. It has been quite remarkable how all the fish that I've had (about 6 in a year), have said good bye just before leaving this creation. This morning Timmy was at the bottom of the tank and he made an effort twice to rise when I came near, then he sank for the last time. Last week after I entered the room, Tom swam closest to where I was standing and then he died ... and so it has been with the other fish, they made there presence felt as a final departing gesture. They were so beautiful!
Half way through the session my laptop shut down because it wasn't plugged into a power source, it was quite late anyway so I was happy to go to bed. Taking the laptop off my lap and lifting it up I noticed how heavy it was, therefore rather than think it, I said,"this laptop is so heavy". Having been in a relaxed state I was very aware of its weight and the impact of lifting it especially since it is something that I rarely do.
Here is the issue that I need to put to rest - my partner immediately exclaimed, "there you go moaning again!". I told him the truth, that I was simpy stating what I felt, but he just didn't accept it, he said I am always complaining about something. While I was brushing my teeth this previous intereaction was consuming my mind so I came back to the loungeroom to sort it out. I asked why he thought I was moaning when I told him that it was not my intention to do so. His answer was that it was the tone of my voice that said it all.
Here lies the problem, does that mean that whenever I speak, he misinteprets my message and he possibly thinks I am moaning, unhappy, or criticising? Is that why he is unhappy a lot of the time .... because he thinks I am being negative? This is typical of the sort of thing you read about in Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.
It is not my intention to make anyone unhappy! I ask myself - "when you realise that there is a misunderstanding and you attempt to clarify it, what is stopping the other person from accepting the truth?" I would like to just BE and not think about all this but my dilema is that I may be causing suffering? Aha, I am creating my own suffering by thinking about this and since it is in the past it does not matter and if he thinks I am negative, that is his problem. Sounds good to me; enough thinking!
By the way my little goldfish have passed away, Tom died last week and Timmy died this morning. It has been quite remarkable how all the fish that I've had (about 6 in a year), have said good bye just before leaving this creation. This morning Timmy was at the bottom of the tank and he made an effort twice to rise when I came near, then he sank for the last time. Last week after I entered the room, Tom swam closest to where I was standing and then he died ... and so it has been with the other fish, they made there presence felt as a final departing gesture. They were so beautiful!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Still on the Planet
It has been a few weeks since my last blog but I have been preoccupied with digesting Eckhart Tolle's The New Earth and The Power of Now. Somehow I coud not bring myself to write anything ... the thought of blogging became a hindrance. I so much enjoy reading these books, it is like a confirmation of things that I have always known but kept to myself. I am delighted that there is indeed an awakening happening world wide. Next week the study of Tolle's, The New Earth in Oprah's largest classroom (http://www.oprah.com/)
takes place and unfortunately I will miss out as I will be at work:(
Something that came to mind when reading Tolle's 'The New Earth'.... early in my marriage, my partner asked what thoughts I had in my head and I replied that I wasn't aware of any. At that stage I wondered if there was something wrong with me; wanting to be normal, I started thinking about stuff. Conversations started in my head, I became aware of a voice and internal dialogue that over the years has become intrusive chatter. The only time prior to this that I was aware of a voice was when I was being creative, making things, drawing, painting, sewing etc. the voice was in the form of guidance. Thanks to Tolle I am aware again that the chatter is unnecessary.
These moments of creativity were and are always so joyful. It is true that when the chatter ceases there is a sense of timelessness, it is in that state when everything of the world ceases to exist and I am connected to .....(something that words cannot describe) and from that creativity arises. When people ask me how I came up with an idea, I cannot take credit because it just emerged out of the ether.
Today my dear insightlful friend Shipwreck, who has no trouble connecting with creativity(http://www.shipwrecksblog.com/) has a mention in the widely read magazine in the Sunday paper, as a cyber loveblogger and I will eagerly watch the developments as his creativity as a writer continues to blossom. I will also encourage him to read Tolle's books in order that his ego does not get the better of him.
takes place and unfortunately I will miss out as I will be at work:(
Something that came to mind when reading Tolle's 'The New Earth'.... early in my marriage, my partner asked what thoughts I had in my head and I replied that I wasn't aware of any. At that stage I wondered if there was something wrong with me; wanting to be normal, I started thinking about stuff. Conversations started in my head, I became aware of a voice and internal dialogue that over the years has become intrusive chatter. The only time prior to this that I was aware of a voice was when I was being creative, making things, drawing, painting, sewing etc. the voice was in the form of guidance. Thanks to Tolle I am aware again that the chatter is unnecessary.
These moments of creativity were and are always so joyful. It is true that when the chatter ceases there is a sense of timelessness, it is in that state when everything of the world ceases to exist and I am connected to .....(something that words cannot describe) and from that creativity arises. When people ask me how I came up with an idea, I cannot take credit because it just emerged out of the ether.
Today my dear insightlful friend Shipwreck, who has no trouble connecting with creativity(http://www.shipwrecksblog.com/) has a mention in the widely read magazine in the Sunday paper, as a cyber loveblogger and I will eagerly watch the developments as his creativity as a writer continues to blossom. I will also encourage him to read Tolle's books in order that his ego does not get the better of him.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Weird
Not a good sleep last night, I kept waking up thinking it was morning but then would realise that the words 'pain-body' were going through my head and I would fall asleep again. For those of you who have read Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth you would be familiar with the term. It's an accumulation of negative energy, anger, resentment, all that horrible stuff from the past or even from the present that you carry with you through life.
I was very aware of my pain-body (if that is what it is called) throughout the day; I was grumpy on the inside, maybe angry is a better word. The feeling of anger came up so many times for stupid little reasons that would not normally bother me eg not being able to find where I put my pen in amongst all my papers and books or being angry that I had to clean up after students (I didn't have to, I could have left it, but the funny thing this doesn't normally bother me, I would just do it and think nothing of it), the entire day was like that. I was also very deeply sad being reminded of what had happened to the stolen generation, as I heard accounts of the terrible things that these people endured, I wept for their loss and suffering. It has been quite a day!
I was very aware of my pain-body (if that is what it is called) throughout the day; I was grumpy on the inside, maybe angry is a better word. The feeling of anger came up so many times for stupid little reasons that would not normally bother me eg not being able to find where I put my pen in amongst all my papers and books or being angry that I had to clean up after students (I didn't have to, I could have left it, but the funny thing this doesn't normally bother me, I would just do it and think nothing of it), the entire day was like that. I was also very deeply sad being reminded of what had happened to the stolen generation, as I heard accounts of the terrible things that these people endured, I wept for their loss and suffering. It has been quite a day!
Monday, February 11, 2008
So Grateful To One Of My Readers
I am so grateful to one of my blog readers who has directed my attention to Eckhart Tolle's book 'A New Earth' as well as a world wide online classroom with the author and Oprah Winfrey to study the book. Tolle says that "the book's purpose is to bring about a shift of consciousness, to awaken"(page 6). I am so ready for this book, its exactly what I've always been interested in.
I am half way through the book and identify with everything written. Bizarre, I know, but I can feel the shift already taking place. This morning I awoke with an awareness of the life force in my body, very strange the way it happened, it was like ... like tingling but not as intense', I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep for another little while, I awoke again even more curious this time because the feeling was there again, so totally consuming, from head to toe. I wondered whether my body was telling me to get up.
During the day it was interesting observing a number of times when my ego was being active. For example I had a class of year 8 students whom I had only seen for the second time and I made a point of learning all 19 names (one girl was absent) during the lesson. I had learnt the names of the other year 8 class in the first lesson. When our assistant came in to the room after today's lesson, feeling proud I told her about how I had learnt their names, then the ego took full swing and started telling her about the other day as well. Funny thing is that I sensed what was happening, that my ego was thriving on this but I still needed to finish what I was saying. With that awareness I no longer felt proud.
Anyway back to relationships, my partner is talking to me again and I dont think that the previous problem had much to do with me. I think ego and his pain-body (page 151 A New Earth) is responsible. He really needs to read this book by Tolle but I know that if it comes from me then he definately wont read it. Meanwhile I am still taking great pleasure in using my voice; one of the biggest delights which I have mentioned before is being able to order food over a huge display cabinet at the noisy supermarket and be heard and understood easily.
If you go to the following site you can find out about the world's biggest classroom and 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle.
http://www.oprah.com/
I am half way through the book and identify with everything written. Bizarre, I know, but I can feel the shift already taking place. This morning I awoke with an awareness of the life force in my body, very strange the way it happened, it was like ... like tingling but not as intense', I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep for another little while, I awoke again even more curious this time because the feeling was there again, so totally consuming, from head to toe. I wondered whether my body was telling me to get up.
During the day it was interesting observing a number of times when my ego was being active. For example I had a class of year 8 students whom I had only seen for the second time and I made a point of learning all 19 names (one girl was absent) during the lesson. I had learnt the names of the other year 8 class in the first lesson. When our assistant came in to the room after today's lesson, feeling proud I told her about how I had learnt their names, then the ego took full swing and started telling her about the other day as well. Funny thing is that I sensed what was happening, that my ego was thriving on this but I still needed to finish what I was saying. With that awareness I no longer felt proud.
Anyway back to relationships, my partner is talking to me again and I dont think that the previous problem had much to do with me. I think ego and his pain-body (page 151 A New Earth) is responsible. He really needs to read this book by Tolle but I know that if it comes from me then he definately wont read it. Meanwhile I am still taking great pleasure in using my voice; one of the biggest delights which I have mentioned before is being able to order food over a huge display cabinet at the noisy supermarket and be heard and understood easily.
If you go to the following site you can find out about the world's biggest classroom and 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle.
http://www.oprah.com/
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